Blue Skies
by Behind These Mako Eyes
Summary: What price did Squall truly pay for the use of GF?
1. Silence and Motion

A/N: This story is set 4 months after the defeat of Ultimecia and the aftermath of Time Compression. Just imagine the party at the end of the game never happened. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I don't own FFVIII or anything, but I do own my right to vote!

X Rinoa X

"How is he?"

"Better than yesterday," I replied as brightly as I could before I looked down to the warm mint mocha I held between my hands, contemplating taking a sip. "He's in physical therapy right now, but we can see him when he's done."

"Does he remember who I am?"

Laguna's question stung, but I begrudgingly answered, "just your name still."

The pain in the older man's expression was quickly masked with his honest attempt at a positive smile. His posture straightened, his shoulders squared, and he took an earnest swallow of his hazelnut coffee.

"It's still a start!" He chirped, his fake-cheer was almost so real, I couldn't help but smile.

"He'll get a little better everyday," I offered, for what had to be the millionth time since Squall's recovery began. "The doctor says he's making leaps and bounds every day."

"He's back to walking around on his own, he could hold simple conversation last time I visited," Laguna continued, "any change since then?"

"He's been playing cards with me and Zell," I nearly boasted, "he almost beat Quistis the other week she was here."

"They say it's good for the brain, I can't wait to play a round with him. I had no idea he'd be up to that so soon."

Squall's progress was truly impressive, especially when I recalled where he'd been after I'd found him in the void. I thought he'd been dead until we came to our own timeline, the gasp of life from his lips made me break then and there. He couldn't speak much and his motor skills were limited to uncoordinated jerks toward what he wanted. I shuddered in remembrance and took a sip of my beverage, doing what I could to take myself out of the memory.

I glanced at the clock and then to Laguna, "Squall should be done with PT, let's head to his room to visit."

We journeyed from the cafeteria together, an extra coffee in tow. The interior of Balamb garden never ceased to amaze me, all the way up to the high dome ceiling and down to the clear blue pond below. We rounded the hall and made it to the purple-carpeted corridor, finding Squall waiting quietly at the center desk of the infirmary. He was staring down at the faux wood intently, like he was trying to pick it apart.

"We brought you some coffee," Laguna chimed pleasantly, coming over to his son to place it before him. Squall's blue eyes flicked to the coffee before looking at Laguna, the expression on his face changed to curiosity.

"You're...Laguna, right?" He asked slowly, his hands coming up to gingerly take possession of his coffee.

"You're exactly right, son," Laguna beamed, but faltered at his usage of the endearment. "So, I hear you're playing cards?"

Squall wasn't nearly as sharp as he'd been prior to the heavy wielding of GFs, only picking up on the second half of Laguna's comment. He carefully took a sip of his coffee, wincing at the heat of it. Those blue eyes were sparkling like a child's.

"Want to play?"

My heart leapt into my chest when Squall requested his father play a game with him. It almost didn't matter that Squall didn't recognize Laguna as his parent.

"You bet!"

They settled on opposite ends of the desk, the elder fishing out his deck. Laguna began to sift through the small pile, pausing for a moment.

"I haven't played cards in Balamb for so long, I can't say I remember the rules," he admitted with a sheepish smile, scratching the back of his head, "can you refresh me?"

Squall stared at him blankly before turning to face me.

"I didn't know there were other rules," he said, "what's ours?"

"The only rule is to play open handed," I answered, pulling up a chair to watch their game nearby, "you guys can see each other's cards."

"It's been a while," Laguna lamented, selecting his five cards, "ready?"

Squall nodded with a pleasant smile on his face, laying his cards down in a line before him face up. He chose to play Ifrit in the bottom right corner and his father hummed in contemplation. He lay a Marlboro card in the oblique position, deciding to play it safe.

I watched them place and flip their cards, but slowly lost myself to my thoughts in the process.

_Squall had been recovered from time compression four days ago, barely breathing and in rough shape. We'd boarded the Ragnarok with the rest of the team and flew directly to Balamb Garden. Dr. Kadowaki was waiting at the open infirmary door with a worried frown pulling at her face._

_"First things first," she started as Zell and Irvine lay Squall on the bed in the nearest curtained corridor, "I need to unjunction him."_

_The moment the GFs were removed, the young man in the bed began to convulse. He was having a seizure._

_"Quick! Get him on his side!"_

_Zell was the fastest, placing his gloved hands on Squall's shoulder and hip to turn him onto his left side. He twisted his own forearm to check his watch, beginning to time the seizure._

_I got down on my knees on the opposite side, pushing the dark locks from Squall's dewy face to inspect his airways. Drool dribbled out of his open mouth, but I could hear him drawing breath as best he could._

_When the tremors left him, he lay on the sheets panting erratically, sweat soaking his hair. Zell had timed it at just shy of two minutes, but it was the longest two minutes I'd ever endured._

_Squall had eleven more seizures over the next six hours of his stay and I cried through nearly every one of them. He'd come out of them and blindly, desperately reach for me. Tears would flow with abandon accompanied by broken, anguished sobs. All I could do was gather as much of him into my arms as I could and hold him, his cries shaking us both like we'd been hit by quake spells._

_When he'd been soothed enough to relax again, I helped him get comfortable on the pillows and and slid his tired hands into cloth restraints. I got up to change the damp cloth I'd been using to clean his face of fluid. These were the moments I let myself weep, shielding Squall from further upset._

_"'Noa.." Squall gurgled from the bed, left arm clumsily yanking on the loose restraints tethered to his bedrails. They were in place to prevent him from accidentally yanking the IVs from his elbow during his infantile movements. I quickly bit back the sob forming and wiped my face before taking his hand between both of mine._

_"I'm right here," I promised him, my voice breaking on the last word. "I'll always be right here."_

_Pieces of my name were the only things Squall had managed to say since we'd been here and every syllable gutted me to the core. He was crying out for me and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. None of us knew what was truly going on yet, Dr. Kadowaki had called in a neuroscientist friend of hers and he'd be arriving in the morning to examine Squall. I hoped with everything that I had that he could return the boy to who he'd been before._

_"I love you, Squall," I told him, cleaning his mouth with the fresh rag and folding it to dab sweat from his forehead._

_"...R..R-rinnn..." he tried, cloudy eyes gazing at mine. He sucked in a tired breath, a whimper bubbling up from his throat when I got up to help shift him on the bed._

_"I'm right here," I cooed softly, pulling the blankets up to his waist once I was satisfied with his placement. "I told you, I'll be by your side the whole time. I love you."_

_How could I not be at his side? No sorceress could get by without her knight, I was no different. The day Squall had proclaimed himself my knight was the day our true bond began. I knew I'd love him prior, but this oath deepened it, made it visceral._

_"Rrr..Rin...Noa..." he murmured, fingers flexing in an attempt to reach me. I took my place in the bedside chair, taking his hand and bending slightly to press a gentle kiss to his knuckles._

_Moments of relative quiet passed between us, Squall's breathing had resumed a regular pace and my heart followed suit._

_"Are you tired?" I asked after noticing his drooping lids, "you should try to get some rest."_

_Squall grunted in agreement, his fingers curling and loosening from my hand. His eyes finally closed and he was asleep in record time, quietly snoring after short minutes. I gently stroked his hair back, admiring his sleeping face._

_He would come back and all would be well...someday._

"Nice job!" Laguna's crow ripped me from my memory, "take your pick!"

Squall studied the array of cards before him, smiling as he selected a Tonberry card from his father's hand. He held it up to me for inspection, his expression quizzical.

"Did I pick the right one?"

"Any card you want is the right one," Zell answered as he entered the room, a wide grin on his face.

"Hi," Squall greeted, pausing before he offered, "...Irv-Zell!"

"You remembered me today," Zell praised happily, before nodding his greeting to Laguna and myself. "Irvine is coming to visit you next week, while we're on the subject."

"Which one is Irvine, again?"

"Looks like a flat-chested girl with a cowboy hat," Zell replied cheekily, "I'm not sure exactly what Selphie sees in him."

Squall seemed perplexed, "I know that name..."

"Selphie is our friend with the brown hair," I interjected gently, "she usually wears the yellow dress when she isn't in uniform."

"Oh," he answered simply, "she's really nice, I like when she brings me lunch."

"It's very nice of her," I complimented, "make sure you thank her."

"I always do," Squall promised, "you always thank someone for being kind."

I beamed at the young man, inherently pleased with his attention to manners. Rebuilding Squall from the ground up was more enjoyable than I thought it would be, letting him fully experience love and support at this level of development. He trusted us blindly, he had a sincere love for myself, he was no longer callous or brash. Squall was gentle and sweet, simple and thoughtful.

"Want to get lunch in Balamb?" Zell chattered, almost randomly, "I know there's a really nice Estharian place by the docks. I haven't had a bite to eat yet."

"What's Estharian food like?"

"Flavorful," Laguna piped up, "lots of different spices, super good. Imagine Trabian cuisine, but kicked up a couple notches."

Squall seemed lost.

"Remember when Selphie made you lunch?" I jogged, "she told you that it was one of her favorites at the Trabia Garden cafeteria."

Squall nodded vehemently, licking his lips like he was clearing them of a Trabian sauce. I tried to ignore how my being purred at the sight.

"Let's go," Squall urged, shifting in his seat, "I don't get to leave campus much."

It was true too, most of us felt the safest with our former leader in the care of his native Garden. Dr. Kadowaki kept a close eye on Squall's charts, progress, and person. He was a young man she cared deeply for, wanting to see him restored to his precursor glory.

"Are you cleared to go?" Zell inquired, more than likely fearful of the physician's infamous wrath.

"He should be," I offered, standing to check Squall's file on the nearby table. I opened the folder, briskly skimming the front page.

"Go to lunch," a jovial voice ordered, startling the lot of us as Dr. Kadowaki entered the infirmary, "doctor's orders, young man."

"Yes ma'am," Squall nearly saluted, eyes sparkling with joy.

Maybe I could get used to this.


	2. Life, Death, and Emotions

A/N: I don't own FFVIII or the characters, as sad as I am to admit. But I do own some cute kitties.

_X Squall X_

_"Great job," Linka praised, "now let's take just one more step, Squall!"_

_I grunted, using all the focus I could muster to bring my right leg forward. The knee wobbled and jerked slightly, but I'd managed to place the sole of my foot onto the next print of the mat below. Never before had I appreciated the simple function of mobility, but the wheelchair glaring from the side reminded me to be grateful._

_"T'red," I mumbled after the last two steps had been taken, my legs trembling at the effort and my clammy hands slipping at the support beam to my left side, "so t'red."_

_Karin, Linka's aid, pushed the wheelchair closer and I let myself sink into it. The cool leather refreshed my warmed skin and I leaned back against it heavily. Learning to walk all over again was the most exhausting thing I'd ever done in my life - more excruciating than thinking I'd lost Rinoa to the emptiness of space, more taxing than the grueling fight against Ultimecia, more dogged than walking through the purgatory of time compression for what felt like centuries._

_"How about we head back to your dorm for some rest?" Karin suggested softly, her wrinkled hand coming to rest on my shoulder, "looks like today whooped ya."_

_"Please," I puffed, bopping myself in the nose as I lifted my arm to push my hair out of my face. Fine motor skills were a gift that I'd been robbed of and missed greatly, simply being capable of wiping the sweat from my brow was a long-gone victory._

_Karin wheeled me to my single dorm, helping me settle down on the mattress butted up to the wall. The elderly woman tucked the sheets around my waist comfortingly and offered a sweet smile._

_"Just push the call button and either I'll be here or Linka will be," she promised kindly, "get some sleep, dear."_

_I lay there awake for long moments after she'd hobbled out of the room, staring blankly up at the ceiling._

X Squall X

"How?" I questioned the physician before me, "How does that work?"

"A person's heart stops beating," Dr. Kadowaki started, "their body goes into a state of stillness that we call rigor mortis, all brain activity stops."

"What happens after..?"

"We don't know," she sighed, "I like to think that good people go to Heaven."

I processed the information before continuing my questioning.

"Why do people die?"

"It's not only people, dear," she said softly, "everything will die one day. No one lives forever."

Death was a different topic of discussion, it was hard to understand and even more frustrating to fathom. When a person died, it meant that they were no more - no more words, no more smiles, no more being.

"You told me before that everything has an opposite," I began my next inquiry, "what's the opposite of death? Life?"

"Kind of," she paused thoughtfully, "I suppose that's correct, but I believe that the opposite of death is birth."

"What's birth?"

"When new life is brought into the world," she continued, "do you remember when we saw eggs in a bird nest?"

"They were an interesting shade of blue," I recalled, "they had spots, I thought they were pretty."

"Those were robins' eggs," Kadowaki informed, "inside of them were baby birds, offspring of the two adult robins."

"How do adult robins make baby robins?"

Kadowaki paused for long moments, a hand on her chin in contemplation. I waited patiently, crossing my fingers loosely on the table before us. She heaved a sigh before her lesson plan continued.

"Mammals and other classifications reproduce via intercourse," came her explanation, "which could be described as the coupling of opposing genitalia."

"Like..." I hummed, "the penis joins the vagina."

"Exactly, Squall," she praised, "the coupling and exchange of DNA creates new life. For instance, a male dog will mount a female dog while in heat, typically resulting in a litter of puppies."

I sat silently and processed the information meticulously, devising any questions or concerns I might have had. The idea was extremely straight-forward for the most part; birth was the beginning of new life and carrying on the genes of the former, death was the end of a current life cycle. There had to be technicalities that I wasn't aware of.

"Can I reproduce..?"

"Well, yes," Dr. Kadowaki stumbled, "you could impregnate a human woman with your children, if you so choose."

The concept of carrying on my name and lineage was interesting, to say the least. I understood that traits passed from parent to offspring, but wondered if it was something I would ever explore. Would Rinoa ever fathom something like that?

"Can you reproduce?" I wondered aloud, cocking my head slightly when she began to laugh.

"Not anymore," she chuckled, "I'm too old to bear a child. Women lose their fertility with age."

"When does that happen?"

"Typically, a woman must be in her fifties, but it varies for everyone."

X Rinoa X

"Hey," I greeted warmly as I entered Squall's dormitory, my heart fluttering at his reciprocal grin. Happiness looked good on his former stony face, his eyes lit up like small lighthouses when the corners of his lips reached a certain degree.

"Hi," he returned, standing from his place on the bed and holding his arms open for a hug. When I obliged, his arms curled around me firmly. I could feel his warm fingers tangle gently in the hair at my nape and he heaved a sigh.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he answered, resting his chin on the top of my head, "I'm just really happy to see you."

I was content to snuggle closer and be simply held by him, smelling the faint scent of his lemongrass soap and feeling the warmth of his firm chest. Squall had become an affectionate young man during his recovery, specifically toward myself. My touch calmed him, my voice drove nightmares away, my presence brought him joy in a way I never thought possible.

Before the unjunctioning, Squall had been very reserved and stoic, even to the point of being quite crude. He was sharp as a tack, but icier than Shiva's diamond dust when he wanted to be. I did my best to push back the prideful tears that threatened to line my eyes. He'd come so far in the last five months.

"I want to say thanks," Squall blurted, releasing me from the loving embrace to back up and head for his nightstand. "I had this made for you, Zell reminded me that you wanted one of your own."

When Squall returned to my proximity, he took my right hand and slid a skinny, intricate silver band around my ring finger. I gasped in joy, lifting my hand to inspect the jewelry in awe. The band was a woven Celtic design between two lithe bases, the center being a lion with tiny mythrill eyes.

"Your very own Griever."

"It's beautiful, Squall," I nearly squealed, throwing my arms around his neck in a loving squeeze, "thank you so much, I absolutely love it!"

Squall's wiry arms around my waist pulled us to touch entirely, bowing his head down to press a gentle kiss to my lips. A sigh escaped and I wasn't sure who it came from, as we both felt the electricity.

We'd only kissed a few times in the last two weeks, Squall slowly gaining curiosity and delight from the simple exchanges. His lips were always soft, always seeking but never demanding when they met mine. The bond made every kiss feel like all the love he could muster was flowing out and encompassing us both.

I never knew that Squall could love me so completely, trusting me wholeheartedly, comfort me so effortlessly.

But then again, I never knew I could feel the exact same way.


	3. Lineage

A/N: I just got my platinum trophy for FFVIII: Remastered and I might be crying(which means my annual play through is over) To comfort myself, there's gonna be some smut either this chapter or next.

Also crying because I don't own FFVIII :(

_X Squall X_

_All I could hear were the roars and screams of what had to be the guardian forces, the acute decibels bouncing off of every barricade my mind had. I could hear the shrill wail of Shiva, the ice queen who was frozen to death in the name of faith. The caterwaul of Doomtrain as it flew across those flaming tracks. Ifrit's clawed mitts banging off of cavernous walls, demanding freedom from his hellish abode. I'd never wished to be hit so hard by a silence spell in my life._

_I screamed, doing everything humanly possible to block out the heinous sounds echoing through my brain. My gloves hands rushed up to my head, fisting in my hair and pulling to offer a secondary distraction. The cries of pain and anguish only amplified until the world as I knew it became blank._

_My body had gone slack against the crackled ground, my brain going haywire with the warring GFs. They demanded release, I could only beg for forgiveness for keeping them locked away._

_Distorted images flashed across the back of my eyes like a twisted film, so many blurred faces and environments that were once familiar. I was swallowed up by a dark fog almost i_nstantly _as I tried to recall the buildings and forests that whizzed by. It was utterly dark, I felt panic begin to creep in._

_A twinkle of light stopped my hysteria, urging me to follow after it. It felt like I'd sprinted for miles before I'd finally reached it. I gingerly grasped the center of it and felt something similar to an explosion as the light brightened to a painful degree. I dropped to my knees before it, a single tear gliding down the left side of my face._

_The white submerged my dark world and myself along with it, I could only succumb to it now._

X Rinoa X

"Shhh," I cooed softly, gathering the trembling man in my arms, "I'm right here, Squall."

His arms coiled tighter around me, his damp face pressing into my neck. He'd had another nightmare, where I'd been afraid to let them finish. Squall had nightmares most nights, but I remained by his side to drive them away as best I could.

"It was the one about Griever again," he whispered, the trembling trickling into the words.

"You know what you'll never have to be junctioned again," I promised, "you'll never have to see them again."

"I can't forget about them," he replied, a little stronger now, "they took up all that space in my brain, pushed out my memories of everything else."

"You didn't forget me," I told him sincerely, "and you're starting to remember our friends too. You almost know everyone's last names."

I felt him relent and settle back into the bed, keeping me close to him. Long minutes stretched the silence into a comfortable lull. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder.

"...is Laguna my father?"

"I think that's a conversation you two need to have."

"I just want to know if he is," Squall pressed, "he comes to see me more than anyone else, aside from you. He looks so happy to see me every time."

"He is," I confirmed after a minute, "he's coming to visit in a couple days, maybe we can plan a fun day for you two."

Squall nuzzled in closer, his nose burrowing into my hair. I'd never get over his sweetness, after knowing him as a crude young man.

"I'd really like to do that," he said, "we can go play cards, go get lunch, maybe we can try to visit Balamb and go fishing?"

"Where did you think of fishing?" I wondered aloud, pulling back to look at him, "none of us go fishing, as far as I'm aware."

"His name was Seifer," Squall began, "he came to visit me in the cafeteria about a week ago. He seemed a little upset at first when I told him I didn't know who he was. But he got over it and asked about my recovery, then said we should go fishing sometime."

"Seifer visited you," I parroted incredulously, "and offered to take you fishing?"

"Well, yes," Squall answered, kind of confused, "what's so weird about that?"

I blanched for a moment, unsure of how to answer that.

Squall frowned, although his hold didn't cease. I knew this look and a bolt of guilt struck me hard.

"You know why," he almost scoffed, "but maybe I shouldn't."

"Squall," I sighed, breaking away to sit up in bed, turning the side lamp on after contemplating, "you didn't have a great childhood, or really, a good life before all this."

Squall sat up to face me, his bare chest pale and littered with small scars.

"So I don't deserve to know?"

"No," I regarded fiercely, "I just don't understand why you want to remember any of the hard things, the painful things."

"Because it was my life before all this," he tried so hard not to exclaim, "it was a part of me, it was who I was. You told me that I'm so much happier than the man you met, but I want to know why he was so damned sad."

"I think it's time you and Laguna take a trip to visit Ellone," I finally said after a long moment, rubbing my tired eyes, "get in touch with him tomorrow."

Squall seemed hesitant about the idea, but he settled back into the bed beside me and curled one arm loosely around my waist.

"I'm sorry I get so frustrated," he murmured after I turned out the light, "I just...I get these dreams that look so familiar and real, they had to have happened. And I cannot, for the life of me, shake off the dreams about the GF."

"You don't need to apologize," I told him gently, shifting to wrap myself around him, "you went through a lot, Squall, I get it."

His sigh and sweet nuzzle into my hair relaxed us both enough to drift off again.

X Laguna X

"Y'okay?"

"I..l think I need a beer," came Squall's rather dull response, "but yeah, I think I'm okay."

Kiros appeared with two brown bottles of a local ale, caps already popped and ready to be swigged. He left to return with two small glasses and a half-empty bottle of red wine. The dark-skinned man smiled kindly at Ellone, taking a seat across from her after pouring both glasses halfway.

"I hope it wasn't too hard on you, little brother," Ellone murmured to the younger man seated on the couch, "you seem rather shocked."

"I am shocked," he admitted, taking a healthy swallow of brew, "I didn't realize just how much happened in my life, I guess I expected to feel sadder about it. But I just feel more...enlightened, I guess."

"That's a good thing, right?" I asked, taking a hearty gulp of my own, "I mean, can you forgive your old man about the past?"

"There's nothing really to forgive you for," he replied, "you didn't know about me, you were only trying to save Ellone."

I couldn't contain myself anymore, months of guilt washing away like footprints on the sandy shore.

"Can I hug you, son?"

"Yeah," Squall replied, "you can, dad."

The smile on his face belonged purely to Squall, but reminded me so sorely of his mother. I swept my son into my arms as he stood, crushing him with a loving weight. His sinewy arms returned the gesture, his chin coming to rest on my shoulder for the duration of the embrace.

This was the first hug I'd ever shared with my son in almost eighteen years and it caught up with me, emotion coursing throughout my being in a way I'd never known. The young man against me was my own flesh and my own blood, the only real kin I had. He was my lineage, mine and Raine's.

"You don't have to cry," his murmur brought me to realize that I'd been shaking and quietly sobbing, "it's okay."

"Sorry," I managed, releasing Squall to wipe the tears from my face, "it just...that's the first time I've ever hugged you, you're almost eighteen years old. You're my son and you called me dad."

"It's a lot for Squall too," Kiros offered kindly from his seat, "you two just process it differently."

"You're taking it a lot like Raine," Ellone told Squall, "uncle Laguna was always the emotional one."

I made an undignified huff, folding my arms.

"Now that's just untrue," I scoffed, "emotional one, my behind!"

They all had a laugh and I couldn't stay salty, shaking my head with a small chuckle of my own. We took our seats and resumed sipping our beverages, Ellone and Kiros refilling their wine glasses halfway.

"I'm glad we got to spend the day together," Squall said after a few moments of quiet passed amongst our quartet, "it was nice getting to know you as my dad and sister."

X Rinoa X

"How many did he have?" I asked with a giggle, sipping on a fruit ale that Irvine had kindly brought.

"He had about five," the long-haired man struggled to keep a straight face, "or seven."

"That's why he's in there giggling himself to sleep," I laughed, "at least you fed him, he shouldn't get sick."

"Does he drink like this a lot?"

"No, not like this," I returned with an eye roll, "he has a few beers a week, he really likes how they taste."

"Truly?" Irvine inquired, nose wrinkled, "cocktails taste better, I'm still trying to get rid of the beer from our announcement party."

"Some people like beer more than liquor," I observed, tilting the brown bottle at him in pointedness, "I like these and hard ciders, fruity beer. Liquor is for a hard day."

Irvine shrugged and finished the glass of water I'd given him upon arrival, "I should get going, you know how she gets when I'm out too late."

"Pregnancy hormones?"

"Hell yeah," he heaved a huge sigh, "she's happy and bouncy one minute, sad at the drop of my hat, she's so damned mad at me all the time. But at least the sex is awesome."

"I didn't need to know that part," I told him after we'd finished laughing, "but stop at the store on your way home and get her some ice cream. She won't be so mad, I promise."

"Good call," Irvine said with a beam, getting to his feet, "have fun with drunky-pants, I'm gonna take off. It was really good to see you again."

We embraced briefly when I walked him to the door, opening it for him politely.

"Be safe, I'll see you later," I called as he walked out of it, "tell Selphie to call us tomorrow about lunch!"

"Will do!"

I closed the door and locked it after he'd gotten into his vehicle, leaning back against it with a happy sigh. It was great to know that Squall was going out and doing things he should be doing at his age. I was even happier that he came home to our shared dorm every night, no matter what he did during his day.

"Noa!" Squall singsong'd from the bedroom, "c'mere!"

"Coming," I promised, padding to our hated bedroom after turning out the lights.

Squall was spread out on the bed, his nude form illuminated by the dim lamp in the opposite corner of the room. He smiled drunkenly at me, shifting to make space on the mattress.

"I never took your clothes off," I giggled, taking the place beside him, "just your jeans, why are you naked?"

"You don' wan' me to be..?" He slurred, a slightly crestfallen look on his features.

"No, it's not that," I quickly responded, my heart aching at his expression, "I just want to know why."

Squall shifted to flop onto his back, one arm behind his head and the other across his flat stomach. He stared at the ceiling like he was wondering was words to use to explain himself. Finally, his head turned to face me, those blue eyes bright.

"Let's make a baby, Rin," he did his best not to slur, "or try?"

"Are you intentionally trying to have a child, Squall?" I gaped, "I don't know if I'm ready for that right now."

"N'ther was Irvy," he pointed, "but Selphie's preggo now. He's happy about it, too."

"They were having sex for the pleasure of it," I responded logically, "they got pregnant on accident, babe."

"How's it an accident," he asked, "don't they know it's how babies are made?"

"Either they didn't use protection," I started, "or Irvine's pullout game is shit."

Squall's look of pure confusion made me laugh, but I held up a finger to silence him for briefing purposes.

"People primarily have sex for fun, it feels good," I began, "most people get pregnant by accident. There are ways of not getting pregnant."

"Like..?"

"Pulling out before the man orgasms is common," I stated, "and there are all kinds of contraceptives."

"I wanna know what org'sm'n feels like," he blurted out.

I froze, unsure of what to say. It boggled my mind to think that he hadn't explored that part of himself post-junction. The logical part of myself kicked in, reminding me that Squall never appeared to be the type to please himself prior.

"I think you might be too drunk for me to partake," I replied sadly, leaning over to stroke his hair, "it wouldn't be fair to you not to remember it."

Squall's expression changed to one I hadn't seen in a while - determination.


End file.
